So, it seems Labour are moving to outlaw the practice of secretly loaning sums of money to political parties in order to obtain a peerage.

Are they mad?

What better way to boost Lotto ticket sales than to allow newly-minted millionaires the chance to cash in on their wealth and buy themselves a Lordship? Apparently, an average loan of just over £1 million will get you a title nomination; well within the reach of most Lotto winners (apart from those who play the Lost numbers every week, who’ll be splitting their winnings with 4,815,162,342 other people, oddly enough). This has the dual effect of increasing the Lottery’s popularity and democratizing the peerage system, which will no doubt win Labour plenty of brownie points with the voters.

Get me into one of those Government think tanks, I’ll win the election for them no bother.